Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Power ? Yes /No ?

1.Power of Emotions
2.Power of Strength
3.Power of Technicality
4.Power of Intuition

I have only intuition technicality and emotions ,but i dont have strength . Reason because controlling own monster/Demon within you isnt so easy especially if when my family and myself expect so much from myself . Too much expectations, too much thinking ,too much doing, too much stuff that i ignore ,so many stuff i done yet I'm not living up to their standard .More training more studying ,crave for more knowledge,power and crave for more strength in controlling oneself jeez i sound like my teacher now arghzz and yeah i've not been going to classes again arghz . Told myself exercise some more la exercise till ur muscle ache like hell .I think im always over thinking or over exercise myself till i faint a few times ,kinda embarrassed to tell any doctor .Crave to learn more songs and crave to be just a bright red sun that just shine non-stop but technically speaking its impossible if i over do my training and trust issues .... I have to learn to trust have to ,but if i trust them even 10% ,if they betray me i cant trust them then . Why can't i just try and give them a chance . Why didnt i gave her the chance to love me ,Why did i run away from her why why ? Why did i run away from someone that i know ,that person can numb my pain can heal me ,but why did i chose to not trust her .  I am sorry max why just cant trust anyone nor would i want you to .But u cant build a home with no trust why cant u let me trust my own family even why ? Becoz even the person closest to you can betray you when u trust them max . But why levi ,isnt there any other way that i can get through this pain ? I know humans arent pure but there are indeed some thats pure , pure evil or good .Max theres no such thing as that though that person is evil he has reason to be that way ,we dont know his past or ever felt his pain the way we did .OK but can't u understand that you can never strive to be success when your always doing things alone,we cant strive to be awesome or the best just by us all together levi, I know the time has come but until that has come ,I will never ever let u take me to the abyss .I didn't blink .I believe you're more than just a being within me levi you're not evil although your past ancestors are evil i know you . You gave me joy and pain at the same time your my friend levi you've been within me since i was a child and sometimes u may give bad pointers or good pointers i just listen to you .But now i can never let u control me .I control myself . If thats true max then good that's an answer i was looking for this type of answer from you we will be watching you from within your body but if you ever ,do something,funny I'll make sure to kill us max ,so remember to control us properly pray exercise and eat your vitamins important .Tell you the truth max your dead teacher is in u and also your brother your late older brother is inside of you .When your in deep pain meditate and pray listen to him and us .OK that's that i went to some therapy and talked with the others within me deeply and understand what ,I need to do and what I musnt do to upset them . Anger :When you let it ,it can destroy you its the same like controlling your other being in you ,even though they have given you something you musnt give them anything that they need thats gonna poison you remember that.